There is something about the holidays that makes all of us true romantics want to fall in love. Everyone seems happier around the holiday season and there are so many parties and opportunities to meet someone new even if we have to create those opportunities ourselves. Then there is always the mistletoe we can stand under to share that first kiss. Here are some tips to help ease the pressure of dating during the holiday season. Always remember you are single and fabulous!
Confidence is Sexy
• You’re at your brothers Christmas Party and you spot the guy across the room whose warm smile and flashing green eyes make you melt. Your eyes meet and your first reaction is to look away. Do not look away meet his gaze and let your eyes lock and show you are approachable, confident and friendly. If the glance holds longer than a few seconds there is nothing wrong with making the first move and walking over to him to say hello. When you begin having a conversation more important than talking is listening and showing interest in what he is saying. If he finds a way to touch you during the conversation it is another way he is showing you he is interested.
Accept Those Holiday Invitations
• You are filled with invitations from friends, family and colleagues and your first reaction is to say no as you don’t have a plus one to attend with. Remember there will be and always are other singles at these events and functions looking for love just like you. Make sure to look your best and put your best foot forward. The only question people will be asking is why are you single?
Enjoy the Holiday Spirit
• The holiday spirit is all around you so give into it and don’t be a scrooge. It is as simple as putting some candy out on your candy dish in your office. Bake those favourite Christmas cookies and share them with everyone. Not only will baking them make you happy but; sharing them will make you even happier. You never know who those Christmas cookies may attract. Hang out with your single friends and family as much as you can. Remember the nicest thing about the holidays is giving back so take the time to volunteer at a homeless shelter you are needed everywhere. Most importantly have a wonderful holiday season and enjoy!
In Life we so often want what we cannot have. The man we have longed for and agonized over for months as he seems perfect. He is intelligent and attractive, he dresses well and actually listens to what I am saying but; of course the catch is he is married. Perhaps; he seems so “perfect” because he is not available and we always desire what we cannot have. He seems perfect from a distance but; how well do we really know him and if we could have him would we really want him? As a kid we always wanted the toy we could not have and as an adult we seem to desire the relationship with the man we lust over and cannot have. “Wanting” what you cannot have whether it is the brand new sexy red Porsche that is just not in the budget or the man or woman who is taken is often better than actually “Having” it. We are purposely choosing the unobtainable.
• So many of us confuse “lust” or “longing” with love. We grow up in a world of make believe and fairy tales watching “Chick Flicks” that are romanticized on the movie screen and make a great story but more often than not do not resemble true love. The truth is constantly yearning for something or someone you cannot have is an endless cycle of agony with no fulfillment and no romantic ending. Do we want what we cannot have because it is not reality and rejection is inevitable? After all if we choose the man or woman that is available and attractive and single will we then if it does not work out have to accept we failed? It is always worth trying and if we fail we will learn from our experiences and get right back out there and try again. True love can only happen with someone that you want and can actually have and who wants you back and returns your feelings.
• The wisest most loving and well rounded people you know are likely those who have known some sort of misery or defeat and or the heart break of having lost at love. When you face challenges you can either let them define you destroy you or hopefully you choose to learn from them and have them strengthen you as a person. We talk about how great the concept of love is but then we hide from it every day. We cannot let our fears define us and they are only as powerful as we make them. The truth is love hurts sometimes but “nothing worthwhile comes easy”. Instant results are very rarely the best results and good things come to those who are patient. A loving relationship takes time to cultivate but; is the most worthwhile relationship you will ever have. When you stop lusting after what you cannot have you will realize what you truly want is obtainable and possibly right in front of you.
Women so often are afraid of what a man will think of them. Will he be okay with my 3 month rule? Will he like the way I dress or the way I wear my hair? Will he be okay with my profession or do you think he will be intimidated by it? It is important to be proud of who you are and the man you enter into a relationship with should love and respect you for who you are as you should him.
Do you want a child?
Just because he wants children and a big family does not mean you should. Not every woman wants children. It is a big decision and one we live with for the rest of our life. It changes who we are what we do and how we think. If it is not something we are sure we want it is not something we should do. He has a right to be with a woman who really wants children and we have a right to pick a man who may not or is not sure either.
Life is all about the unknown and taking chances and not being afraid of the outcome. If we don’t try we will never know or reach our full potential. Thinking outside of the box or doing something that may be a little bit out of our comfort zone is what makes life exciting or challenging. Do not be afraid of the unknown or hold back because of what someone else may think or because you are afraid you won’t succeed. You never know until you try. Life is full of possibilities. Remember you are confident; you are beautiful you are exceptional and the world is your oyster.
No woman should ever feel guilty for how she chooses to express her sexuality. Embrace who you are and do what you feel comfortable doing. Your style is your own unique outlet for self-expression. There is nothing more important than showing who you are and feeling good about the way you look. Don’t be afraid to wear those Christian Louboutin shoe’s (there is nothing sexier than a pair of high heels) and a great pencil skirt to go with it. If you have favourite shades of lipstick don’t be afraid to put them on. We should always be proud of the women we are and not afraid to show it.
Women so often after a long day use an excuse as to why they don’t want to have sex. They had a terrible long day at the office and after putting the kids to bed they are too exhausted or have a terrible headache. How can he not understand how tired I must be by the end of the day? Or I have gained a few pounds and just don’t feel sexy enough?
Don’t forget you are a woman
1. The longer we go without sex the faster time flies and the less likely we are to miss it. We forget how much we love being women and how nice it is to be in the arms of the man we love. Once we actually realize a few weeks has passed and we don’t want him to feel neglected or unimportant and we put on something sexy and set the mood we realize what we are missing and how important it is and how good it feels to be a woman again. We are not just mothers or defined by our career but beautiful loving women who enjoy being touched by the man we love.
A Man Needs To Be a Man
2. There is nothing more important to a man than exercising his manhood. If you want him to behave like a man be sure to treat him like a man. There is no better way to a man’s heart than through his stomach or through a hot night of love making. He needs to feel important and appreciated and these are the best ways to let him know he is.
3. It is so important to take some time for just the two of you. Time to be alone, time to listen to each other, and time to remember who you fell in love with and why. Smile and enjoy each other’s company and you will be surprised how much better you both will feel.
4. There is no better stress reliever than sex. Making love to your partner makes all the stress you felt during the day disappear. You forget what it was your colleague at work did that almost lost you an important client or that your son just broke your brand new washing machine. Everything seems to melt away as you enjoy each other.
5. Once you are happily in his arms you remember how much you truly enjoy having sex with him. You deserve this pleasure and it really is pleasurable. What is more important than actually having some fun between the sheets and feeling loved and showing love? Be a woman and enjoy each other.
It is the Little Things That Really Count
- Every day we go about our regular rituals…we get up in the morning have our cup of coffee some of us go for a run or to the gym before we start our day and then the workday begins. We so often forget to do something simple to let our partner know we are thinking of them. If we have spent the night together and we are the one who gets up early to go to the gym before the office why not surprise them with a little love note on the fridge before they head off to work. There is nothing more important than letting someone know you are thinking of them whether you are with them or not. Send a loving or sexy voicemail just to let them know they are on your mind. It is the little things we do every day to show our feelings that really count and let someone know they are loved.
Make Time for Each Other
- It is so easy as dating turns into a relationship to take each other for granted. When things are brand new the excitement and butterflies we feel makes the new relationship a top priority. As time goes on we begin to feel more comfortable and life happens and the urgency tends to go away. It is always important to find a way to be spontaneous and adventurous and keep the excitement brewing and your partner guessing…even if you are exhausted… schedule a special date night a week for just each other. Take turns planning something different for that date…Whether it is something as simple as a romantic picnic at the end of a bike ride with wine, cheese and grapes or a drive to your favourite little town up north to look at antiques. The passion in your relationship is essential to a loving long term commitment.
Make time for Intimacy
- One of the most important things in a relationship is touching and being touched. It is part of communicating with each other and showing each other how you feel. It is an opportunity for you to let yourself be vulnerable and bring the two of you closer together. Touching, feeling, hearing and listening to each other and what is important to each other will keep the relationship alive. It is necessary to truly understand what your partner needs and desires to keep the excitement going and the fire burning.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex’s
1. The most common mistake people make when going on their first date is to talk about their past relationships. We all say we are not going to do it and then somehow something comes up and there it is, we are sharing stories about our ex. It is obvious to your date when you talk about your past that you truly are not ready to move on. Any negativity you may be feeling about the past relationship comes forward and is a huge red flag to your date as it becomes obvious that whatever bothered you then still does now. For example, if there were trust issues because your former partner was unfaithful it becomes obvious to your date. They begin to feel that you may not trust them even if they are being completely honest. This is far too much information on a first date. Leave the past in the past until there is a present and you are actually beginning a relationship and sharing your experiences.
Don’t Talk About Having Babies Too Soon
2. Letting him know your biological time clock is ticking and discussing how you want children on a first date is a big NO, NO!!! As much as having a family of your own may be important to you there is nothing worse than discussing this on a first date. Before you even begin to get to know each other; being told by your 36 year old date that the most important thing to you is to have a child, and you are planning to do this in the next 6 months. This will surely send your date running to the washroom and don’t be surprised when he does not come back to the table. Get to know each other first and never put the cart before the horse.
Don’t Make Your Kids the Only Topic
3. We all love our children but; this is not the only topic of conversation on a first date. If you bring out pictures of your children before the appetizers have arrived, you can certainly expect that there will not be any dessert. Get to know each other and what you have in common before you share stories and pictures of your children from a previous relationship.
Do Not Be Late
4. There is no bigger turn off then being late on a first date. You have made plans, you are excited to meet each other, show up on time! If for any reason you may be late do not forget to call and let her know you are stuck in traffic. It is important to respect each other’s time and be considerate.
Do Not Cancel Plans
5. Do not cancel at the last minute. You get one chance to present yourself in the best light possible. When you cancel a first date at the last minute there may never be a second chance. There is nothing more important than a first impression. If for any reason you may have to cancel make sure you give fair warning or schedule an alternative time.
“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar”
This weekend is Woofstock (http://www.woofstock.ca/) and as I am an animal lover it is one of my favorite festivals of the season. It is held outdoors at Woodbine Beach on Saturday and Sunday and is designed for dogs and the people who love them. It offers the best in products, food and fashion for all dogs of every size and breed.
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”
Summer Dating Tip Number 2
Be positive and upbeat not a Debbie Downer. The glass is always half full and not empty. Nothing is more attractive to a guy than a girl who is upbeat and positive and focuses on
“Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.”
The first long weekend of the summer has come to an end and it is so hard to get back into the swing of things at the office after a long weekend.
“Just the smell of summer can make me fall in love.”
It is the first long weekend of the summer, the Victoria Day long weekend also known as May 2-4. Half of us head up north to open our cottages for the season and the other half look forward to the list of things that have finally become available to do in the city. To all of us it means summer has finally begun.